White Lies, For Myself.

最近
下了很大的勇气
承认了一件事。

对
只是一件事。
但是就承认这一件事，
需要多大的勇气，
你知道吗？

因为这一个承认，
幻灭的是这么多年的情。
到底需要多沉重的心，
多大的决心，
左心房要痛多少次，
多少个失眠的夜晚，
多少次的沉思，
才可以放下心去承认。

但是我说
我承认了。
因为那些  我已经经过了。
过了就是  释怀了。

我依然
会用微笑面对你
会用那个身份面对你
但是这所有的一切
都加盖了保护层
就像含羞草，
我也成为了你的含羞草。
再见，
还有你好。

Blessed be, Su.

Say Something.

Say something I'm giving up on you.

I will stay alive.
And happy.
And start again, again & again.


重要的是你怎么看，和家人怎么看。
加油，淑琳 (:

Workaholic

没什么
只是觉得我以后好像会是
工作狂。

答案五年后揭晓。

沉沦

我回来了。
这两个星期好像一直在沉沦。
在沉沦中沉沦，好像
就是最沉沦的事情了。
没错
我知道自己到底在沉沦什么。
就是那所谓的
无知。

但是我想说
我想再一次大口的吸气
大力的深呼吸
因为我想回来
我也会回来的。

我，好像应该准备冲了。
我不能犹豫，所以我要冲了。

加油，你。

7月22。

Annyeong!
我常常用这个不知道是我第几个语言的词，跟大家习惯性的问候，嬉笑甚至是道别。

视线凝视着对方的双眼，然后在轻轻的眨眼瞬间嘴角缓缓上扬。
我常常用这个不知道是我第几个惯性的动作，跟大家惯性的问候，安慰甚至是道别。

我说
我一直以来除了做那个似乎什么都往身上扛的解决师，
也一直是大家心中永远都会留个位置的宠儿。

我说
我满意也欣慰现在一切的一切
工作是辛苦了点
但是为什么 为什么我竟然会觉得这种劳累和辛苦却也是一种幸福
这种踏在与亲友全然不同的土地和天空的空间里奋力活向明天的日子是无比的幸福。
有时候也真不懂自己那份正面能量到底源发至哪里，到底是什么动力让我这么的积极与正面的面对我的人生，我的周围和我的未来。
昨天想了想，觉得这份强大的力量好像就从我的心一样丝丝的散发出来，给我自己，给家人，给朋友，给周围的人，甚至是擦肩而过的陌生人。
我觉得我很享受给人带来正面希望的那种感觉，给人牢牢的靠住的感觉，心里很踏实。

离开马来西亚独自在英国生活已经快满一年了，我觉得自己好像有一个地方变了很多。
之前还在懊恼，自己前阵子的情绪点为什么这么高，
活得好像一个机器人一样
没有情感，没有情绪。
但是我想我在这里找到了回应。
我发现我看旅游节目看着看着竟然眼泪唰唰的留，
不为什么特别的，
只因为那种独在异乡为异客的感觉实在太鲜明了。
不为什么特别的，
只因为那种自己一个人面对一切的感觉太符合，太强烈了。
我说
我也成长了吗？
好像真的是这样。
我也成长了。
面对‘情’这个字，
我有了更深一层的体会。
我想，我好像真的成长了。
即将迎来我的21，
我用心，去面对 (:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*订了伦敦宿舍三个晚上，
四天三夜的独游，
我想我又会成长吧，在那过程中。
期待 (;


加油，susu!
Blessed be.

Summer in Sheffield.

Hi ya!
So I am still in Sheffield!
Decided to go back in late August because I wanna work here till then to earn enough money for my birthday party.
As always, I'm being the Susu who likes to do things on her own, now with her own money.
Not to show anything but my prestige.
'I am able to live on my own'

Have been watching quite a lot of dramas recently.
And I found this to be extremely funny >>> High School King.
Worth watching because it is super duper epic funny.
Ain't kidding.
You may try the first episode and you'll know (;

Served a table of customers with four caucasians and an Indian.
And when I was serving them the food, they asked which part of Sheffield am I from.
Well, I told them this is my first year here and I am actually an international student from Malaysia.
"I told you she is from Malaysia!" the Indian said to his friends and asked "which part of Malaysia are you from?"
"I am from Johor Bahru, the city just next to Singapore" I replied. Then I asked the Indian, "Which part of Malaysia are you from?" with my favourite smile on my face.
"Ipoh."
"Owh! The food there is excellent!"
"Yea. I've been here for forty years...What are you studying here?"
"Psychology."
"Wowww" All of them reacted.
"Then we must be careful not to let you see through us!"
"Hahahahaha!" All of us laughed.
"Do you study statistics?" the eldest white asked.
"Yesh, I've been studying and utilizing statistics throughout the course."
"He is a statisticians and you can learn from him!" His friend said to me.
"Well, yeah, I am. I will definitely come again and we can discuss about statistics next time." the old man said.
"Yea, it will be my pleasure!" I said, smiling ear to ear.

Before they went off, all of them said bye and the Indian said 'Selamat Jalan, I will datang lagi'.
'Bye girl, don't forget the statistics!' the old man said.

You know what?
Although I am just a waitress working in a chinese restaurant,
well these are what I look forward to every single time when I work there.
Chatting with customers, learning social rules, knowing more people, and blah blah blah.
All that I can't gain or learn from the text, or even the course.
Yesh, these are the reasons I stay.
And indeed, I enjoy very much.

And yesh, on the sixth of Sep, I will enjoy myself too in my own party.
See ya people!


Blessed be, susu chow!

Hey there.

Hey there.
I've finished my second year of Psychology.

How do I feel?
Glad, for myself.
And proud, of myself facing all these.

As for now, I would say 'well done Suuu'.
As for now, I would say 'Nevermind Suu, till you meet the right one, just carry on with this lifestyle, there's nothing to be remorseful, you are doing very good'.

No worries, am enjoying my summer! ;)

See you soon, Malaysia.



Blessed be.

My Life.

I don't really know why I'm the chosen one.
I don't really know why I'll be given this.
But since it is innate,
I accept it, and I -
will live with it.

I can feel the burden now, starting all over again.
As if I don't understand everything,
Yet I do.
This is the scariest, to be frank.
But I believe, yes I believe, I will somehow find a way, use that way and keep with it.
I trust myself to fight against,
I trust myself to win.
Never regret after all.
As always.


Blessed be, susu chow.

HaHaHa

很多很多想去要去会去的地方

只差一个伴

我说

’男朋友‘就在这种时候需要，

有没有只交5天的？

Blessed be, susu chow!

Hope

As always, Mandarin to be the deep-down-my-heart language.

30多小时，消失了。

我说
世上能发生的事无奇不有
太多太多的可能性
让身为人类的我们
只能原地不动的祷告和祈福
人类
只不过是在浩大的宇宙里找到方法存活下来的一群生物
而人类
却又为自己的同类冠上一层层的标签。

虽然飞机上没有任何和我有亲属或朋友关系的人
但是身为人类的我
为这次的意外感同身受
如果
如果
如果这真的是一起人为
如果这真的是因为人类的贪婪，报复和企图
那这些人
也太过可怜了，可怜的不单是那239名如今还未有任何消息的人类
对于那些造成不幸的人，
你们也一样的可怜。

只希望奇迹
真的会降临。

Blessed be, susu chow,
Blessed be, MH370.

Helloooooo

Yo!
It's been quite a long period since the last time I updated about myself in the UK!

So, semester 2 just started! Clappppppp
Well, ain't that worried about the course as I was in the beginning of sem 1,
as I've learned the proper ways to manage my time well, to manage my groceries well and also to manage myself well (;

Nawwwww
The weather is bad recently.
Don't really like this forever-raining weather, as well as its forever-strong wind D:
Umbrella isn't a very useful tool here.

Of course I have to update you guys with the dramas I've been watching recently:

1. I need romance 3
2. I need romance 2012
3. You who came from the star
4. Emergency man and woman
5. Prime minister and I (just finished)

And SO!
I need romance series is truly my-type. I mean the mature-going conversation, the meanings, the storyline and the principles.
If you just watch the drama from an artistic point of view, in regards to the under-age scenes and lines, well they ARE awesome dramas.
Wokay, go ahead now!
:D

Left a few essays, a lab report, a poster, a presentation and 4 subjects to be tested in the final examinations, and that's all for sem 2!
Time flies, I know.
And I started to miss it already.

So, I was wondering should I spend quarter of the salary that I will get while working throughout summer vacation, as if I am super duper sure I would get one?, lol, wokay back to the topic: Should I spend it for my own planned travel or should I save them to give my family a few big treats and then save the rest for my master degree?

Ngeheh. Think too far? Or am I being a thinker out of the box? Take risk again? My lil id is shouting out for the travel plan now but my superego says: You should be wise enough to plan your future so that it will be secured instead of having temporary sweet time!

Ego, so tough and hard for you to make a decision but nahhhh, I believe you will find a way (:

Lalala, susu is enjoying her life here no worries!

Currently addicted songs:
Now and Forever by Jo Jung Hee
Don't Cry by Hyori Lee
I Could Give You Love by Lasse Lindh
Illa Illa - Gentleman's Dignity
Peu A Peu by Peppermoon

Trust me, you will get addicted once you try the very first. It will just stuck in your head.


Blessed be,
Susu Chow.

都市感

从容的都市感，
我感觉，
你感觉，
人，都在感觉。


好想放自己的心一个假。
好想做回自己，持着我想走就走的心，
带它去漂游。

世界的大，我还没看过。
期待我吧，世界。


距离剩下十天了，
怎么感觉自己好像越来越松懈
反效果吗？
我，准备好了。
命运你就来吧。


Blessed be,
Susu Chow.

It's 2014!

Hello people!
It's 2014!
Gosh I can't believe that it is already 2014, well the seventh day.
Sometimes when I think about myself, now living here in the UK, studying here in the UK, leaving my family and going through all these all by myself, being able to adapt to the environment surprisingly fast, am I truly so not I-miss-home-so-much?
Yea, this is kinda weird but for now, at least, I don't feel like going back for the whole summer, yet.
Hope this thought remains when summer comes.

And yeshhhhh,
I'm going to take my first ever exam in three weeks time!
Have been doing revision all the time and I really hope I can do well in the exam.
Blessed be, susu chow!

Look forward to the coming trip to Manchester during CNY!
Gonna visit LAODA again and have lots of wonderful and delicious food!
Treat it as a short break for myself (:



Till here, will miss ya! ;)